I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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