life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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