batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
