That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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