Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
