all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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