so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize