oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
