does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
