it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I need water and some morals
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
