please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
