I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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