Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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