i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
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once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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