From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
