ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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