Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
