so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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