no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
