This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian