He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.