So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.