I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
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Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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