also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
