I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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