Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
