I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
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Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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