More tranny stories later!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
