After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
