so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
