I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
