If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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