did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
