the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
