I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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