i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize