Just cropdusted the office
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
