I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
