I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize