Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
