Define "chronic" masturbator.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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