fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
