Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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