So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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