he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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