I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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