shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
