in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
