Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
