So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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