dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize