Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Come share oat with me in your robe
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
