Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
