And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
