Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
