Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
