I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
