i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize