yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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