i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
